i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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