office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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