put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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