we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
