The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
