At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
