What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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