I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
