My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My pussy is not your playground.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
