OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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