If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
