maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
