I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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