at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
