fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
