Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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