Midget sex pt 2 tonight
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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