is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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