I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
