I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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