I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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