Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
