Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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