Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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