So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
