Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
