So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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