At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
