My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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