She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
