Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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