dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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