only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
