STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
