if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
