I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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