Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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