I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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