I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I need to stop coming to work sober
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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