Porn is love you can see.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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