I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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