About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
