He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
