Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
