All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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