you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
