Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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