i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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