You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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