How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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