just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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