the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
