Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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