the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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