grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize