ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
