I'm really into asian looking animals
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
