between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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